Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
that may or may not have been my penis.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
