they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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