But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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