I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
