His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
zippers are such a cool invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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