their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
