My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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