I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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