Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
17 year olds will be the death of me.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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