brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
He passed out mid-signature
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
