wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
