Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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