im gay
i know
yea but for you.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
