Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I looked at my own cervix.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize