We're facebook friends in real life
My friends, they love my intelligence
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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