Christians are straight up FREAKS
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
