yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
