Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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