fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
