literally had 100 drinks last night.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
