i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
