i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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