mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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