im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
