I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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