oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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