we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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