Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
