the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
this is an emotional support booty call
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