so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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