are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
