Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
