I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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