Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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