Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
