is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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