But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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