I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
