My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
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