ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize
