Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
