Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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