wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I need to calm my uterus...
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Randomize
