Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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