We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
