They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
