You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
this is an emotional support booty call
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
