I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
