thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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