Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
