Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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