What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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