Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
