I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
