I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
