So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
