He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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