Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
