My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
