i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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