Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
