and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
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My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
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How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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