if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
