Your tits are I can't wait for
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
