You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
